"Every minute of every hour of every day you are making the world, just as you are making yourself, and you might as well do it with generosity and kindness and style"
- Rebecca Solnit
Yesterday, I watched the playback of a substack talk with a couple of my food heroes, Ruth Reichl, Nancy Silverton, and someone I don't yet know, Lori Ochoa, but if she is in the company of these two talented women, I certainly will make it my business to learn more about her. Together, they host a podcast call Three Ingredients.
Ruth Reichl is best known for her time as an editor in chief at Gourmet Magazine, and as food critic for the NY and LA Times.. An author of five best-selling books, she is an extraordinarily gifted writer. Whether or not you love food as much as I do, it's her storytelling that will inspire you most.
I had the distinct honor of studying under Nancy Silverton when I was at culinary school in San Francisco. Even back then, you could tell she was a force. Focused, disciplined, talented beyond measure. It was awe inspiring to be her student, and I loved the flavor of her food.
When I watched the podcast, it was Lori Ochoa's calm demeanor that drew me in immediately. But clearly, she too is a force. One would have to be if you were the executive editor of Gourmet Magazine, a food journalist, James Beard award-winning author, and now General Manager of Food at the Los Angeles Times.
All this to say, in their most recent conversation from the Ojai Food & Wine Festival, they mentioned a gentleman by the name of Will Guidara. I had heard of this name but didn't know who he was. I promptly spent the next six hours doing a deep dive, listening to TED talks, podcasts, youtube videosand learning about his storied career as general manager, then co-owner and restauranteur, of 11 Madison Park, a NYC establishment given the prestigious honor of being one of best restaurants in the world. He worked his way through the world of Danny Meyer, best known for Union Square Cafe in New York City, and a place that most everyone knows and has experienced, Shake Shack. Danny Meyer is considered by many to be the godfather of hospitality, coining the term Enlightened Hospitality. Will created a similar philosophy with his own personal point of view, clearly influenced by his time working with Danny Meyer, and new book by the same name, called Unreasonable Hospitality. (I also learned that he is the husband to the culinary force that is Christina Tosi.)
Listening to both of them speak reminded me of my training at Chez Panisse. There is a culture that is firmly established and generously shared. A discipline that is demanding in the most thoughtful of ways. A place where you are welcomed like family, while being selectively brought into the fold of humble yet distinctly talented individuals.
There is nothing more generous, and intimate, than serving someone something good to eat. But it is not just what you serve, be it a five star meal or a glass of water, it's the gesture of generosity, the hospitality, behind the act. To make a person feel more comfortable. To create connection at the table. To make someone feel seen and heard and welcome. To satiate their hunger, certainly, but more importantly, to satisfy and soothe them in ways they didn't know they needed or wanted.
Hospitality isn't just for restaurants. You can create this in your own home. Start with how you treat yourself. How you arrange your space. Eat on beautiful dishes by candlelight. Pour yourself some sparkling water in a crystal glass. Be generous everyday. And let that generosity find its way into your everyday, and in your interactions with others. A shared smile with a stranger on the street. An open door for the person in front or behind you. An unexpected extra something that you know can make someone's day. Extend a hand in kindness in even the smallest of ways.
Intention means every decision, from the most obviously significant to the seemingly mundane, matters. To do something with intentionality means to do it thoughtfully, with clear purpose and an eye on the desired result.
The style part is you. It's your personal point of view. How you choose to express this hospitality. Be it in the way you dress, or speak or listen. All of these details matter. Make it intentional. Be discerning and deliberate. Share your gifts in a way that feels like you want to bring others into your circle.
It's never too late to keep learning and growing. I am a perpetual student, in both my personal and professional life. It's easy to forgot the lessons we learn, which is why it's helpful to listen to and be a part of these conversations. To remind ourselves of the person we want to be, the people we want to lead, and the life we aspire to live. To remember that generous hospitality begins at home. This kind of thoughtfulness requires that we not be solely focused on accomplishing our goals and getting things done, but to slowdown and be intentional about the way in which we live our daily lives.
x Alisa
Photo credit: The Empty Plate in New York, 1947 by Irving Penn